Frustrated Co-op Vent

I love my homeschool co-op. I love the kids. I like the other moms. Jessica adores her "school". But I'm seeing some things creeping in as we grow that are more and more like institutional school and I don't like what I am seeing.

Item 1: The "Points" System
In an effort to promote good behavior a points system was instituted this semester. I HATE it. I Hate everything about it. It has NOT done what it was designed to do and it has fostered a sense of competition between the kids that I hate seeing. Yesterday as Becky was announcing the current points standings the kids were not only cheering for their own team (which is fine, be proud of your efforts) but booing the teams that were ahead of them and laughing at the teams that were behind. I HATE seeing that dynamic being encouraged. And within the teams the kids are at each other...Which sadly is part of the purpose of the stupid system, bringing peer pressure to bear on the "offender" in hopes of changing their behavior...and mistakes are being met with strong social disapproval. Again, everything I hate about institutional schooling. In the boys class in particular I see one kid being singled out as the "problem child" and his day yesterday was horrible. It doesn't seem to be affecting my kid. She's in one of the two youngest groups and they don't seem to be getting points deducted as badly and/or don't care where they rank. On the flip side of that one of the classes has been consistently in last place and has basically given up hope of "winning" so they don't care what you do to them points wise. In other words the group this system was put in place to motivate...Doesn't CARE anymore so it doesn't even work. How surprising, NOT!

Item 2: The new "Stair Rule"
Again, the boys class. There is an open stairwell in the building where we meet. The kind with the metal handrail that just begs to be slid down or hung from. Some of the boys (not more than 4 of them) have been hanging from the top landing rail and dropping to the bottom of the stairwell. Is this a problem? Of course it is. I'm not denying that. But the way that has been chosen to deal with it is to make a new blanket rule that no child is allowed on the stairs without an adult. GREAT! Group punishment. My Favorite. (Can you read the dripping sarcasm?) Three or four kids have had a behavioral issue. Rather than dealing with those kids personally and privately over it let's make a blanket rule that treats EVERY child like a three year old. Its absurd.

Item 3: Lunch Prayer
I have blood sugar issues, when I need to eat...I NEED to eat. The RULE is that no-one is to begin eating until we are all gathered an can pray. Not a bad rule per se but one that doesn't work for me...and that I suspect doesn't work for many of the smaller kids that it has been several hours since breakfast. Prayer before meals is a good thing but making 40+ people (mostly kids) wait for the stragglers with food in front of them is NOT. More than once I've gotten a nasty look shot my way when I took care of my physical needs in violation of the rule.

On balance, is it enough for me to leave the group? Doubtful. Jessica loves the other kids and this IS school as far as she is concerned. We basically unschool the rest of the week so it isn't a big issue with her. But it IS a big issue with ME. I recognize that this is MY issue. Things that I personally hated as a child in institutional school (even though I loved school) that I see being imposed on kids who have been opted out of institutional schooling. I also see that MOST of the other moms in this group are probably "school at homers" where we are "unschoolers". The philosophical differences are glaring at times. GBD vs Punitive, School at Home vs Unschooling, Authoritarian vs Authoritative. I have to pray about what to do and how to share what I see without alienating the other moms. Help!