Signing

I've been learning ASL (American Sign Language) recently. Tonight we signed in church for the first time. Well it was my first time anyway. The rest of the class signed about a month ago. I went in expecting to sign only the Lord's prayer...We ended up signing to two other songs as well. It was an interesting experience.

I feel very self conscious when I sign in front of people. I am speaking a language I don't fully understand and I'm afraid of messing up and offending someone. I want to sign. I can't dance but signing feels natural. Its a way to communicate with the Lord without being distracted by the sound of my own voice. This is probably why I write my prayers as well. Perhaps that is why I feel so odd signing in front of an audience. Like a prayer language, signing for me is between me and God. I feel exposed when I am signing in front of an audience. Like many people feel exposed by being called upon to deliver a public prayer or a testimony. Interesting. Neither of those things intimidate me but signing does. The silence is more intimate somehow. The wordlessness of the communication makes it so.

I learned several new words in my sign vocabulary tonight. I'm reaching the point where I can sign large parts of many contemporary praise songs. It fascinates Harold when I am signing along with the radio in the van.

Our third class begins in two weeks. I can't wait.